How to talk to women: One simple technique which will prevent you from blanking out
You walk up to a woman and say “Hey”. She smiles and says “Hi”. And then what do you do? Well you need to keep a conversation going! Because if you are not talking to her in a smooth and controlled manner, you’re probably not going to be able to get her number let alone take her home with you. Keeping a conversation alive with a woman can be difficult. My mind just used to go blank and I was never sure of what I should talk about. But after years of working on this and observing some of the best seducers talking to women, I finally understand how you can use conversation as a tool to attract women.
In this post I will show you a conversation technique which will help you keep a conversation going for as long as you want. If you can master this simple technique, you can have the confidence to approach anyone, not just beautiful women, and start talking. I will also show you how you should approach conversation with women, because after all, a woman’s thought processes are completely different from a man’s.
So what exactly is a ‘conversation’ and what does it mean for men and women?
A conversation is a way for people to exchange ideas and thoughts with each other. Everyone involved gets to put their input and learn more about the other. Conversation also comes in a variety of forms. We can exchange information on our feelings, emotions, experiences, problems…and just about anything else. So what is the goal of conversation?
When men talk together, the predominant goal is to find out information. We exchange tips or we try and help others with their problems. So we use conversation to collect and give away conversation. There is a clear purpose to our exchanges. Women, however, use conversation to bond. That’s why you’ll see women on the phone with each other for literally hours. They’ll keep swapping stories and talking about what seems to us as pointless things. Therefore, for women, conversation itself is the goal.
An example might make this distinction clearer:
If Grant just breaks up with his girlfriend and tells his friends, they would tell him that he needs to find a new girl or that he should just take some time off and enjoy being single. They would basically give him some emotional support and then help him fix the problem. Alex may tell him that there ‘plenty of fish in the sea’ and Brad may offer to be his wingman until he finds a new girlfriend.
On the flipside, Jenny who broke up would also tell her friends. And instead of trying to solve the problem, they will tell stories of their past break ups. Jess may talk about how she got cheated on once and Kirsty may talk about her loser ex-boyfriend. Her friends will give her emotional support…and carry one giving emotional support.
You have to understand that women constantly relate with each other and share similar stories. That’s just how they communicate. That’s why you often hear a woman saying “I like him a lot, he gets me so well” or “He just seems to know where I’m coming from!” She would never say something like “I love him; he just seems to fix all my problems”.
For women the goal of conversation is conversation itself
But what happens when an average man walks up to an average woman and starts talking? Well he shares his story first and she shares her story, and then he comments on her story. He may tell her how it could be better or what he liked about it.
Woman: “We spent a whole week at the Caribbean beaches. It was great but we all got sunburnt!”
Man: “Wow that’s pretty bad, you gotta wear some sunblock, the sun can be pretty strong”
What the man said here may have been OK if he was talking to another guy, but with a woman it’s a no-no! What she really wanted him to say was something like this:
Man: “Tell me about, I went out for an hour at my local beach the other day and returned home bright red”
Now, you may not notice the difference between the two inputs, but for women the second one is far more interesting and something they can relate to. Making this slight shift in your conversation will massively increase your attraction to women. After all there aren’t that many men that women can feel they can really connect to. But how do you make this shift and how do keep the conversation going? Well, let me tell you that it is much easier than you could have imagined.
Threading-the simplest and most effective conversation technique
I am sure that you have seen someone knit before? Knitting involves taking a thread of yarn and weaving it into another thread. And you keep doing this back and forth until one or two threads turns into a hat or a muffler. By using a simple technique you can create something bigger and more beautiful than the original threads. The same goes for conversation.
When you’re talking to a woman, you’re simply exchanging sentences. You say something, she says something back. It goes on and on. And at the end of the night, hopefully she will look back on your conversation as a powerful and attractive thing you shared with her. Conversation, like knitting, consists of easy and simple components woven together to create something more amazing.
When you think of a conversation like this, keeping a conversation alive is easy, you’re mind will never go blank and you will always have something interesting to say. All that you need to learn is a skill called ‘Conversation Threading’. It involves taking a piece of her sentence and using it to make a sentence of your own. Let me use an example to explain:
Woman: “I love going to the Paris. It’s so romantic”
You: “Paris is my favourite city. I love the laid-back nature of the people”
You: “Yeah as soon as you arrive in the city you can feel the romantic energy”
You: “What is it about Paris that you especially love?”
You: “What do you think makes Paris so romantic?”
I came up with these sentences in literally a few seconds. How? It’s quite easy- let’s look at the woman’s sentence one more time.
Woman: “I love going to the Paris. It’s so romantic”
In this sentence, there are at least three ‘threads’. These are parts of sentences you can talk about. In this case the threads were:
1. I love…
3. so romantic
So you can talk about:
1. Things you love
3. How you find Paris/other places romantic
You can do this everytime she speaks, and you will find that the conversation will have a natural flow and you will never run out of things to say. Just pick a thread, relate and then wait for her to reply. Pick a thread, relate and then wait for her to reply. And so on. If you can master this skill it will increase your confidence when it comes to approaching women, because you know how to start and fuel a conversation. If you come across a woman in a shopping mall and she says “I’m just shopping around for some jeans with my friends”, you know that you can thread off to talk about:
1. Shopping (“There’s this store on the second floor you’ll love…”)
2. Jeans (“I hope you’re not one of those who goes for ripped jeans”)
3. Her friends (“Your friends seem like a great group of girls. How do you know each other?”)
Can you see how easy it can become with some practice? You can take any of the above responses and use them to keep the conversation going.
And remember this technique only helps you to find WHAT to talk to her about; it helps you direct the conversation where you want to go. You also need to watch HOW you talk to her. While you’re having an intriguing and long conversation, you can add in a bit of tension and teasing and most importantly touching. Touch her on the shoulder when you want to emphasize a point. If you combine a great conversation with the right tension and physical escalation it will become a breeze to isolate her and take things to the next level.
…women are looking for intriguing and exciting men over big, good-looking hunks. It’s always been like that. That’s why it’s important for you to make sure you can have captivating conversations with anyone, not just women. From now on, keep practicing the threading technique. It doesn’t matter who you do it with first, just get good at it. If you can master the art of threading, women can feel as you’re one of the only men they can connect with. And if you mix in some intrigue and teasing, only good things can happen.